What about goal setting?
In my last blog, I spoke about reducing stress and burnout prevention, yet, even though I have hinted at it briefly in my list of suggestions, there is one topic I would like to dive into with you deeper – goal setting. Nothing is more stressful than not knowing what you really want; from yourself, others, and life in general. Who do you want to be? How do you want to feel? And we live in a material world – what do you want to achieve and have? Being honest with oneself and building a clear vision should be anyone's first step in an attempt to live a successful and fulfilling lifestyle.
Story time. A couple of weeks ago, I visited my old university, and a feeling followed me on my way back home. As my colleagues were talking about their daily practice time and their troubles and responsibilities as a student, sighing over yet another not most successful lesson they just had, I remembered when I was going through exactly those experiences. And I told a friend, "God, I am happy I am done with my studies…" and she said: "But why actually, study time was the most fun!" And let me explain from my perspective – it’s a yes and a no.
Sure, there was a time when one was not yet quite adult and could get away with many reckless decisions or procrastinating on essential topics for the future. There is a system (of a school or university) with clear regulations and conditions one needs to follow. As long you are at least 50% present and have enough dignity you don't want to fail, you'll reach the finish line quite easily and without making the tough decisions on your own, with no real responsibility to go outside of a university system walls and motivate and establish yourself as an individual. The idea that studies will provide everything necessary for us regarding networking, knowledge, and practical experience, is something we don’t think a lot about as students. Still, it's rather the subconscious attitude we embody to the end of our studies. And then the master exam is finished – and now what? Depression, feeling lost, not knowing how and where exactly to turn, being thrown into cold water…as not everyone gets so lucky to get recruited into their dream job right after graduation. And although that kind of attitude often brings fewer worries and keeps us focused on fun, hanging out, parting, and dating, it doesn't mean it is not equally burdening in its emptiness and lack of personal purpose and accountability.
Some people like the light, "carefree" time in their life, yet I always felt safer and more confident when standing on my own two feet and ensuring I knew what I wanted for the future. Because without particular, clear goals, there is no motivation, no determination, and without it – no success. And what does success mean to you?
The most significant transformation in my attitude possibly occurred during my year in Munich, and I came to several personal conclusions.
Firstly, I am no longer a shy, insecure student, listening to every word someone says and following every word my professor breathes. I was my own person, and I was here to learn, but in the end, it is on me how much of other people's information I consume and adapt to myself and my life. Only I am responsible for myself, my health, and my life decisions. For some, this seems stressful, but isn't it relieving? Thank God it is like that, as you are the one who knows best who you are and what is best for you anyway. You don't like something about yourself or your life? It is in your power to change it. A very wise person in my life once said, "It is all only a decision." And it is true; all you have to do is decide (Self-discipline in pulling through with those decisions is something I will touch upon in my upcoming blogs).
Secondly, there is life outside the practice room, and my identity doesn't depend on what the public, my teacher, or my mom thinks of me. Those times of insecurity and feeling lost after a lousy lesson will soon become so irrelevant, and it is good that other things are coming in life that we personally can influence and adapt to our tastes. Therefore, the university can offer (if you're willing to see it that way) us some of the tools; it offers us a networking opportunity, a fun stage to explore ourselves freely, and a jumping ramp into professional life – but let us not forget about the goals we can already start setting and achieving on our own in that time. I soon as I could, I worked next to my studies, but that doesn't mean I don't wish I had spent even more time going after my dreams and aspirations already then and not waited for that time to magically offer me opportunities, direction, and a go-getter persona. Because it didn’t, and I had to decide to dare to go for it all by myself at some point anyway. I think one finally dares when one doesn't dare to regret not ever daring.
And for that, one has to know what they want. Plan it and strategize it, brainstorm. Can you really afford it, do you really dare to miss out on your dreams?
Finally, the last question I offer thus far that I wish I would've asked myself much sooner – why do you want to have that, be that? What is the absolute truth behind your vision, and is it entirely yours? Think about the motive behind your motivation and wishes...
I have created another template to help you analyze and organize your goals. Whether long or short-term, it is always helpful to keep your vision in sight, there are endless psychological researches that support its effectiveness, and I recommend bedazzling your vision board with pictures, drawings, and inspirational quotes. Imagine how you would feel about achieving your goal. Write it down, imagine it, and feel it. Personally, it keeps me organized and focused, more productive, and much happier and calmer. Create your vision as well, and remember there are some things in life we can decide to change for the better, and they all start with a first step.
