Welcome to the ‘Control Freak’ Support Group.

Every now and then—especially in that unfortunate phase of life when we start "adulting"—we hit a period of confusion and feeling uprooted. I’ve found myself in one of those moments right now. Call it an identity crisis if you want; I know it’s the fault of that Saturn.

Usually, I have my set of precautions and emergency rules: write a new set of goals, categorize them by urgency and timeline, clean and throw away a bunch of stuff, take 32 personality tests to make sure what I do aligns with my strengths, work out… But this time, none of it was quite doing the trick. I felt like I was standing at a crossroads, staring at three possible paths, each of which could (COULD, but will they?) lead to the next successful step. And I am standing there, freezing, unable to make up my mind. It feels like such a first-world problem, yet it is there, that annoying decision fatigue.

My daily affirmation: I’m privileged to see life as a game. I play, try, and explore—and sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn’t. There is no reason I should be afraid. Trust in the process. Yeah, right…you already know I’m writing this for myself to reread later, okay? 😊

A wise person in my life recently reminded me: one day at a time. How hard can that be, just focusing on the moment! I’m a giant control freak, and when I need to make changes, I feel the need to decide right away, or else it drives me insane. But they were right. When you don’t know what to do, you can still do something—research, gather information, talk to people, explore, and let ideas emerge. Take a walk without your phone and find your pace. Let your thoughts flow—where do they go? What feelings surface? Or, relax. Do I even still know what that means?! Feel the sun on my skin, the wind in the hair—yeah, that kind of cliché bullsh*t, but I swear, those moments have given me clarity more times than I can count. Sometimes best ideas hit when one gives up on trying to produce them.

For those who put off making decisions and for those of us control freaks, the answer is often the same: just start with something and see where life takes you. I’m always amazed at how each year pushes me into situations that—had I heard about them just weeks earlier—I would have never thought possible. Even if you suck at thinking outside the box (guilty*), at the very least, staying open to change is an advantage.

People say change is the only constant in life. I hate those people. I am those people. 😆 But what truly matters is defining the core values you want to embody at all times. Goals, people, places—they change. Values? They can change too, but should they always? At the end of the day, our values are what help us determine whether something—or someone—feels right for us. And our fundamental needs? What do I really desire? What can I never imagine my life without? Who deserves my time, my energy, my thoughts?

It’s hard to hear yourself in this free-jazz world of noise, but if we care to stop and listen to the silence, it might just have the answer.

If you’re anything like me, being stuck at a crossroads isn’t just about having too many options—it’s about the paralysis of not knowing which one is the “right” move. The problem? There is no perfect decision, only choices that shape the next chapter. Here are a few things I’m trying to keep in mind:

1. The 10-10-10 Rule

When faced with a tough decision, ask yourself:

• How will I feel about this in 10 days?

• How about 10 months?

• And in 10 years?

Sometimes, a decision feels overwhelming in the moment, but putting it into a longer-term perspective makes the answer clearer.

2. The Reverse Bucket List

Instead of obsessing over what I want in life, I find it helpful to flip the script:

• What do I never want to experience again?

• What kind of work drains me, no matter how much I try to force it?

• Who do I always regret spending my time with?

Eliminating what doesn’t work can sometimes be the fastest way to find what does.

3. The “Test-Drive” Method

If making a big decision feels impossible, don’t commit—experiment.

• Considering a new career? Shadow someone for a day.

• Thinking of moving? Spend a weekend in the area and live like a local.

• Unsure about a passion? Take a short course, not a full degree.

We tend to assume decisions are permanent, but more often than not, they’re just pivots we can adjust along the way.

Small Decisions First. Not every problem is solved by overanalyzing—sometimes, the best move is just taking a step in any direction and adjusting as you go. So instead of stressing about the one right path, what’s one tiny action you can take today? A phone call, a Google search, a walk without distractions?

If you feel like standing at a crossroads like I sometimes am, maybe the real challenge isn’t choosing the perfect path—it’s choosing movement.