Just checking in…+ my secret recipe!
Last time I hit the fitness studio (with my face perfectly coordinated with my pink shirt), I struck up a conversation with a trainer during my cool-down. Apparently, they've observed a significant uptick in visits around the new year, only to witness a decline towards the end of the month as motivation wanes. Some studies suggest it takes anywhere from 18 to 254 days to establish a habit, but even with the commonly cited figure of 21 days, many fall short. Most of us set New Year's resolutions, make promises – I'm putting this out there at the close of the first month to prompt us to assess our progress. For instance, hitting the gym or practicing might not be such an issue for me, but I vowed to improve my stress management (and tackle those underlying anger issues :D). Yet, I still let trivial things get under my skin! Enough is enough – I understand January is a challenge, but let's navigate it together and get back on track.
1. Remind Yourself WHY
Why have you started? Why did you set those goals? What lies behind them? Why are they essential to you? Perhaps you're uncertain about what you want and why. Personally, sometimes it helps to think about what you definitely don’t want or like right now. It might help crystalize what needs to be changed, and that is already the start; only you can uncover a solution to this. Remember, it's perfectly okay to alter your goals and aspirations if needed. However, generally, there's a deeper need behind every goal. Some seek freedom, others safety, glory, acceptance, love—some of those more attainable and controllable than others, but all are possible. In my experience, journaling often surprises us with self-revelations. Maybe it can offer you some answers as well.
2. Daily To-Dos and the Big List
I'm a huge fan of lists, I usually keep most information in my head. However, it's challenging to remember everything, so I maintain a small to-do list on my phone. The moment a task crosses my mind, I write it down. When I find the time, I categorize tasks into high-priority and those requiring attention in the coming weeks or months. Even though emails aren't urgent, I try to respond promptly, ensuring my answers are ready if needed. In reality, emails and phone calls are the easiest tasks—they don't even require face-to-face interaction, yet they cause us so much unnecessary stress! I strive to complete them without procrastination. A small reminder to not procrastinate those calls to make doctors’ appointments!
On the other hand, the big list automatically slides to the back of my priorities after sorting. The big list is also known as the next steps or a "game plan." Once you know your goals, get the strategy going!
More on setting the goals + templates in my previous blogs – check them out!
3. Don’t think of it as discipline – think of it as devotion
Sometimes, the word "discipline" sounds harsh and military-like. While I believe it's a positive term, it can be unforgiving. Many people refrain from starting or completing things because they fear they'll fail. They've tried repeatedly but couldn't stick to a plan or goal, leaving them feeling unworthy. There are deeper, individual roots for each of us, and I don't want to pry. I have my personal twist on a small cheat code that I heard from a YouTuber: what if you think of discipline as devotion? Devote yourself to better self-care, your goals, your passions, and your loved ones. It immediately feels softer and more loving. Forgiving oneself is hard when consistency falters, yet if one is truly devoted, one never fails—just takes a small break :)
4. Stop wasting your time with self-development content
This may sound like I'm advising you to stop reading this here as well, but wait, hear me out! This goes out to my girlies and top Gs who are stuck in theory. How often do we read all those lists, understanding the words but not truly grasping the meaning? How many times do we know exactly what we must do to solve our problems but make excuses? Depending on some “gurus” to tell us what to do? Stop reading articles like this in search of reasons why this couldn’t apply to you. Cease reading motivational posts if you're not willing to act on it. A million vision boards won't help if you’re not taking action for yourself and the loved ones around you. Reading 37 books a year about origins and solutions and waking up at 5am won't summon a fairy godmother to charm all your problems away. Stand up and finally start doing something for yourself, respectfully.
Now, the 5th one is my personal recipe for staying consistent in pursuing what I want without too much fear holding me back. Or when I just need that little push —apply with caution. Note (here comes the disclaimer): this cake is baked for entertainment purposes, advice, and positivity only.
5. Spela’s Triple “in your face” Cake recipe:
Plot your revenge. Maybe it’s just me, but nothing fires me up more than a thought of revenge glow-up. Remember that girl in primary school who made fun of your bag, clothes, hair, etc.? What about when someone said you're too stupid, ugly, fat, or not special or important enough? How about losing someone and feeling angry about it— or the person who rejected or disrespected you, or worse? What about those people who smiled when you failed and talked behind your back? Maybe you tried to establish boundaries or make some kind of change in your life, and they laughed at you. Everyone has experienced such moments, I tell you that.
Now, imagine this: you pull through, stick to your goals, find your role in this world, succeed at whatever your heart desires, and - God forbid - become genuinely happy. And aaaaaall those people get to see that (or not, your choice). At that point, you have triumphed in a competition with yourself, and I am 100% sure those hurts will be much easier to forgive with a smile on your face (or, in my case, with the wind in my hair—driving with my little Porsche Cabriolet into the sunset, bye haters).
Fake it till you make it. Some may not be fans of this approach, but I'm grateful to have heard this advice when I did. It doesn't help to display weakness publicly—reserve that for close friends and family. Pretend you are already the person you want to become, and don't let them see you sweat.
Detach from the outcome. Remember that you are doing it for yourself, not for everyone else. You have the right to change your course or goals at any time; you are not signing a contract for your life. Trust the process, follow a path that feels right for you, and find a higher system or source to help you calmly to your purpose. Don't feel pressured by the rules and timelines of our culture. If a happy life is a 10, we all really are unique and will have different paths of calculating that one 10 for us. Keep stepping day at a time, task after task, with a positive mindset, and time will reveal what you are meant to be and do. I believe in our ability to bring positive energy and forgive ourselves when things don't turn out as expected, knowing it was for the greater good. And keep going.
Bon Appetit! xoxo
