What made me start this journey?
There is nothing more challenging and at the same time exciting than starting something new.
It brings life, experiences, lessons, and memories; however, you want to call them, there always has to be a starting point, a birth, for anything worthwhile in this crazy rollercoaster called life. I have done it several times; each time, it was priceless for many reasons. Whether it is moving abroad, taking on a challenge that gets us out of our comfort zone, or adapting to a new person, environment, or idea – it is truly amazing how incredible things happen when we are not afraid to start something new. But sometimes, some fears keep us back. Fear of judgment from others, fear of failure, fear of loss…Well, this year, I just said, “f*uck that.” It is not like I am the one to swim with the current very often; I might as well express myself fully and authentically.
Therefore – welcome to my journal! This is where I will share my thoughts on teaching, playing, performing, self-reflecting, and growing professionally and personally. I will share my experiences and stories and provide you with my checklists and spreadsheets that are helping me improve my performance at my job and in daily life. It is all about that level-up mindset and keeping a good balance to create a fulfilling life for ourselves. Looking back to my late teens and early 20s, I notice how much pressure, confusion, and sometimes outward fear I was carrying. Through guitar playing, I have always been able to release some of those tensions and suppressed emotions, yet, some of the self-doubt and insecurities have been imprinted into me also through my musical education and performances. It has created a sort of devil dance where all I could express, after a while through playing, were underlying levels of frustration. If you come from a Slavic system of learning music (or any other system of similar mentality), you are familiar with the pressure, expectations, and constant comparison we are exposed to as children or young adults. And as much as this attitude can push us forward, building skill, discipline, and resilience (which I am a huge advocate for!), it can sometimes also miss the bigger point there is to music. All arts are meant to be enjoyed and expand horizons. All in different colors, moods, tonalities… Even in strange modern, contemporary art – there is an element of enjoyment in hearing/seeing/feeling an innovative idea come to life. Arts are meant to make you feel something. And maybe a bit more than just frustration or an ego boost would be nice! :)
At some point, I sat down with myself and started to analyze what I was feeling and what my needs, wishes, and wants actually were. You would be surprised how many of our motives don’t come from us or our heart space. Yes, life isn’t a cherry pie; we need to work, and bite through the uncomfortable times sometimes, but there sure are always ways available to make it more enjoyable and productive daily – perhaps in a way that also aligns with our true nature or even purpose.
So, I welcome you to join me over here to explore some of the topics I have mentioned. I am happy to share some of my personal realisations, mechanisms, methods, and experiences, and who knows; maybe it benefits someone. Every once in a while, a new column with a new topic will be posted here, which you can also subscribe to with your email below, and make sure you don’t miss out.
Looking forward to creating this little community and sharing it with you all! x
